AFTER DIVORCE...RE-CLAIMING YOURSELF!

AFTER DIVORCE...RE-CLAIMING YOURSELF

In a divorce, one thing a woman should insure she leaves the marriage with is her maiden, or birth name.

The majority of women who get married have had the experience of changing their name and taking their husband's name as part of the marriage ceremony. This custom dates back hundreds, and perhaps thousands of years, to a time when a man giving his bride his name was his way of 'laying claim of ownership' to the woman. In essence, telling the villagers that the woman now 'belonged' to him. In a way, the wife would become chattel, just as the man's property, wagons, animals and more were.

What was never given consideration was the vibrational effect a name change would have on those whose names were changed. Even though Numerology has been around since at least 500 BC, and in all probability, much further back in time, the use of it was a tool employed by the scholars, philosophers and religious and political leaders. It did not 'trickle down' to the commoners. Had it been used by the common man, perhaps the tradition of changing a woman's name upon marriage would have never taken root.

As a Numerologist, I have had a great many opportunities to work with many women over the years, in fact, the majority of my clients are female. It has been my experience that a name change creates a vibrational and energetic change in the individual and most often, these changes have created difficulties for that person. Allow me to explain: In my work, I strongly believe that it is your soul (or whatever other name you wish to use for that portion of your being) that chooses your name for you. Once it decides on the human entity it will inhabit, it chooses the name, birth date and family of origin that will best serve the entity for it knows that within the context of the name and birth date is everything about that individual and its life. Within the spelling of the name is the personality, strengths and weaknesses, talents and abilities and all the nuances that make you...YOU! The spelling of the name also contains a yearly breakdown of the conditions and circumstances which will demand attention and shape the efforts of the individual. The spelling of the name also indicates the turning points and the 'why' of things through the opportunities chosen to be met upon entering this plane. The birth date creates the field of experience or environment in which you get to exercise who you are. This energy and these conditions NEVER GO AWAY! When you change your name, you create a 'Halloween' effect, in essence, you are now playing the role of someone else. When you wear a costume, people see the outer appearance and may never know who is truly behind the mask. This is what happens with a name change, others are not seeing the real you they are seeing the person you are 'playing' based upon your new name. Additionally, you are not exactly seeing yourself. You may feel as though something is not quite right and may be unable to put your finger on the exact cause of that feeling. What is happening is you are wearing a costume that may not necessarily fit, the equivalent of wearing a piece of clothing that is not the correct size. Just as in 'dressing up', underneath the costume remains YOU! What is created through the name change is a dynamic of intra-personal stress, i.e, one set of numbers masking another and creating an inner conflict. It is for this reason that the woman experiences (either subtly or dramatically) a shift within herself. (For example, if someone has a major FIVE energy, they would be adventurous, curious, easily bored, experiential, and perhaps somewhat bohemian in nature. If, through a name change, that major energy were to become a FOUR, the FOUR would create a more controlled, discipline and somewhat restrained or restrictive energy, thereby stifling and inhibiting the natural tendencies of the FIVE).

Since many women get married before they truly know, understand, and become grounded in themselves, these shifts and changes can create major difficulties for the woman. If a woman gets married before the age of 27-35, she has not yet even completed her 1st Cycle. In Numerology everyone has three major cycles during the course of their life. The first cycle is determined by the number of your month of birth; the second cycle is determined by the day of birth; and, the third cycle is determined by the year of birth. The end of the first cycle delineates that point in life where an individual truly begins to grow up and becomes the person they are meant to be (In astrology, the 1st Saturn return coincides with the end of the first Numerology cycle). A name change can truly exacerbate the conditions encountered during this phase of life.

The woman who marries multiple times and continually takes on a new name runs great risk of creating even more problems and drama for herself. The continual 'layering' of vibrations can create quite an identity crisis and lead to a situation where she quite honestly '...doesn't know who she is!'

Another thing that must be given consideration is an understanding that your last name, the surname of the family of origin, contains the karma of that particular family. When 'you chose' that family and your name and birth date, you did so because you were prepared to do so and you contained the ability to handle that karma, as well as a need to experience it. When you marry a man and take his last name, you have then taken on the karma of his surname, something of which you have no knowledge and perhaps, even less ability to handle.

Taking all of this into account, name changes should be given extreme thought and consideration. It is my strong belief that if you are getting married you should keep your maiden name and if you are getting a divorce, make taking back your maiden name a part of the settlement (name changes after the fact can be an incredible hassle). You will in essence be re-claiming yourself and you will be grateful that you did. (Many women have told me they kept their married name because of children and I say that it is the 21st Century and families that have different last names for different members no longer carry the stigma they did forty or fifty years ago). Through this one simple step of taking back your name will you allow yourself to re-align yourself with who you truly are, that entity you chose to be before you were born. Re-claiming your name will go a long way towards clearing away the problems, difficulties and stress which were brought about when you first change your name. You can become a fully empowered woman, ready to truly live your life. During my career as a Numerologist, I have had a great many women confirm to me that they felt better about themselves when they took the step to re-claim their birth name. They say that they feel different and more empowered and that their lives take a turn in a new and better direction.




© Michael John Fierro, 2012